Responding to a child’s disclosure of sexual abuse

Abuse often damages a child’s sense of trust, safety, and self-worth. By disclosing to you, they are placing their trust in you, hoping you can help.

While it may be incredibly difficult to be on the receiving end of such a disclosure, remember: the child has already endured something far more difficult. Your reaction, and your actions in that moment, are critically important. So collect yourself as much as possible, stay calm, and listen.

✅ What to Say

The words you choose can begin the process of healing. Here’s how you can support the child in restoring what abuse has damaged:

To rebuild trust:
“Thank you for telling me.”
“I believe you.”
“I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

To restore a sense of safety:
“I’m here for you now, and I will help you.”
“You’re safe with me.”

To affirm self-worth:
“You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“There is nothing you should blame yourself for.”
“It takes a lot of courage to talk about this. You are doing the right thing.”

🛠️ What to Do

Words matter, but action matters just as much! This hard conversation must lead to action. If you don’t know what to do or where to go, reach out to professionals: a family doctor, school counselor, child protection agency, or local crisis line. You don’t have to have all the answers, but you do need to take the next step.

🚫 What Not to Say or Do

Don’t express doubt or disbelief.
Saying things like “Are you sure?” or “That’s hard to believe” can shut a child down instantly.

Don’t ask for unnecessary details.
Let trained professionals handle that. Your role is to listen, not investigate.

Don’t react with panic, anger, or shock.
Strong emotional reactions can make a child feel like they’ve done something wrong or caused harm by opening up.

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And remember, no one is ready for this type of conversation. The best you could do is to listen, believe and take action!